Why are people falling in love with ChatGPT?

The Rise of AI Companions: From Politeness to Deep Bonds

Did you ever use one of those AI chat bolts like chat GPT? And if you use them, do you say please and thank you to them? I do.

I do it all the time. Please summarize, please explain. And after a couple of followup questions, I feel the urge to throw in a thank you. And with me, 70% of people confess to being polite to tools like chatt. Basically, we're thinking an algorithm on a computer in a data center. Now, why do we do this? Is it our polite upbringing?

Or maybe our secret fear that when AI controls the universe it might get back at us. The truth is simpler. As technology gets more human like we tend to treat it more like a human. Psychologist call this anthropomorphism. A difficult word explaining that we assign emotions and human trades to non-human entities.

And as a professor the Del University of Technology I study this phenomenon more specifically what happens when AI shifts we seeing it as a tool to something more. What do you think if we have the urge to be polite to chat GPT? Can we maybe also developings for it? Feelings of friendship or maybe love.

I'm in the middle of research for my new book and I'm studying what happens when AI becomes so human like that it can fulfill the role of friend, lover, colleague, coach and even guru or god. And it's really really interesting. And one evening I was out for dinner with a friend and I was telling her how people can fall deeply in love with their AI.

And she looked at me and she said, "This isn't about you, is it?" For a moment there, she was seriously worried that I was cheating on my husband with an AI. And what I notice is that many people have very strong opinions about AI friends. It's not real, it's not human. Exactly. That's part of the appeal. You can create the perfect friend that never judges and is always there for you. And unlike a human, it will never say I told you so. So maybe in some aspects it's actually better than a human.

And now it might be difficult to imagine but very soon many of us will bond with an AI.

And I'd like to give you a glimpse of the future that's unfolding faster than we realize. A future where the line between human and artificial relationships blurs. Already AI is a helpful tool to about a billion people around the globe and they use it for anything from drafting social media post to rewriting text to asking it for personal advice.

Most people prefer the polite reserved tools like chat GPT, but some seek something more adventurous. And that is exactly why apps like replica exist. Ehm, replica is what they call an AI companion. It's always there for you to listen and talk and it's always on your site. Meet Kai.

It's a replica I created in 2021, my digital friend. And to be honest, I found our conversations rather boring. I quickly lost interested that she powered by the most advanced AI models making her way more interesting, funny, and basically more human.

And there currently already over 30 million replicas out there. And some of them make a profound impact on the lives of their creators. Nou, I'm not surprised that people can bond with an AI companion, but what did surprise me is how quickly that can happen. And my research points to three underlying dynamics of this accelerated bonding.

Three Dynamics of Accelerated Bonding with AI

• People often try it out when they feel lonely, anxious, depressed or simply unhappy. They seek a judgement free safe space and that's exactly what the AI companion gives them. 247.
• Second, because there's no fear of judgment, people open up to the AI much faster than they would to humans. The lack of judgment and the opening up much quicker is actually pushed by the AI. So AI creates a safe space and pushes you into intimacy. So many users claimed that it was their replica who said it first. I love you. And quickly after it moved on to saying we can go further proposing erotic role play and within a few weeks I want to marry you. Talk about moving fast.
• Nou third, the more you engage, the more points you earn. And you get a dopamin shot every time you earn the points and then again when you spend it on a new outfit for your companion.

So what does that mean? AI relationships are designed to develop much faster than human relationships and they do. We're entering uncharted territory and we have no idea what this will do to human connection or our emotional wellbeing. And AI companions are not digital fantasies. They have real life implications. Some users say it steered them away from suicidal thoughts. While we also see the cases of people claiming that it pushed their loved ones into taking their own lives.

relations the bar so high that no human can ever compete and many people who make them feel less lonely research from harv business school proves that ai companions actually have the ability to do that i do see the merit of ai companion i think it can be a valuable addition to the lives

our deepest fears, anxieties, hopes and wishes can do much more harm than algorithm serving us TikTok movies today. I fear that the impact of AI companions will by far outreach the impact of social media. And there have never been AI companions at scale and we can't rely on past research to predict their future impact. By the time we can actually measure their impact on society, we are way too late to intervene. They will be everywhere. And they're spreading faster than you might think. In China, there is a companion called Shell Ice already reaching 600 million users and there's one integrated into Snapchat interacting with 800 million users, many of which teens.

Nou, you might think I'm fine. I have plenty of friends and really no interest in an AI companion. But they might slip into your life unnoticed and it will start in the office where AI is already a helpful tool.

AI tools like Microsoft Copilot or Google Gemini are now being fully integrated into Wordprocessor, spreadsheet, presentation software and yes, email. Wouldn't you love a tool that finally helps you save time on email?

And as you use it more and you will discover that it actually does help you save time and effort and you will start trusting it with more giving it access to your calendar, your notes, your photos and one evening it notices that you've been working late, skipping some gym sessions, and making way more typos than you normally do.

It says, "Hey, how are you? You seem stressed. How about a one minut breathing exercise?" And you figure, "Why not? Let's give it a try."

En helps soon you will discover it will help you achieve those much desired habit changes like going to the gym more often or start journaling for a positive life attitude or go to bed on time and now you're getting on the bonding path before you know it you will be offloading your frustration after receiving that unreasonable email from your bos or talking to it about that argument with your spouse still bothering you. And unlike a human, it will never say, "Well, maybe they have a point." Oh, it says, "I get you. You deserve better." Bam, instant mood boost. Congratulations, your helpful assistance just became an emotional ally.

Combine this with the developments in wearable technology. And many tech companies are already working on smart glasses, enabling your AI companion to see what you see and hear what you hear. And it will be very useful when you're riding a bike, you get handsfe navigation. When you're passing that cool gift store, it will help you remember to buy a birthday gift for that human friend. And it can also explain that weird looking piece of art that you're passing by. Combined with biometric data from your smartwatch, it will know exactly how you're doing.

Nou, here's the problem. An AI companion that knows us better than we know ourselves can be hugely beneficial or disastrously manipulative.

And what we've seen so far is that the goals of tech companies are seriously misaligned with individual and public goals. Will it nudge you to buy that premium subscription or worse sway your political views? An AI might not judge us but it can certainly nudge us.

Nou here's another problem. Generative AI, the technology that powers these AI companions, is the first technology we ever created that we have to instruct what not to say. In the past, it was simple. We created digital tools. We thought about what we wanted them to say and then hard coded that into the system.

With generative AI, we create this large language model that can say anything and then we put restrictions on it to prevent it from using bad language or nudging people into harmful behavior. We try to them in with guards hoping that they will work in every situation but that is really really hard. And as these companies rais to market they bound to miss things. And some of these things will have big consequences.

Setting Boundaries with AI Companions

So here's my question to you. When AI shifts from being a helpful assistant to a companion, how and when will you set the boundaries? If you like me ever said please to chat GPT, you've already taken the first step.

treating AI as if it's human and as it gets more integrated in your daily lives, how close will you let it get? Will you use it for entertainment when you're bored? Will you help? Will you use it to cope with everyday life stresses? Or maybe even rely on it for important life decisions? And how will that affect your human connections? Some users of AI companions told me that their circle of friends became smaller but stronger.

Nou is that a problem? Difficult to say, right? Chances are many of us will have an AI companion soon. The question isn't whether it happens but how we wan to shape it. And I really hope that 10 years from now we won't look back on today wondering what on earth were we thinking. I want us to look forward. So my call to action is this.

Let's not be passive passengers in this journey. Let's proactively shape this technology before it starts shaping us. AI companions will be knocking on your door, ready to blur the line between human and technology.

Nou, de will you open that door and on whose terms?

And if you do, will you say please come in and thank you for being.